The Fault in Our Stars

The Fault in Our Stars is a realistic fiction text and was written by John Green. It was published in 2012 by The Penguin Group.  This story is a modern love story about a sixteen year old girl named Hazel Grace Lancaster who falls in love with a handsome boy named Augustus Waters in cancer group at a local church. But what sets this romantic, teenage love story apart from the others is that both of them are suffering from cancer. Readers watch as a romance unfolds between the two teens on their trip to Amsterdam to see Hazel's favorite author. But all the while Hazel has to struggle to breathe with her oxygen tank and ever-filling lungs of fluid while Gus struggles with his prosthetic leg. Can these two love birds survive as a teenage couple independent of their health issues? Or will their cancer come between them? The final outcome will surprise you and leave you heartbroken, yet hopeful.

I am having a hard time reviewing this book because it left me with no words. I absolutely loved it. It is beautiful. Heartbreaking. Hilarious. Relatable. Honest. And still, nothing I can say will do this book enough justice. I do not know much, if anything, about cancer but Green's story taught me so much about the sickness and what people suffering have to go through. This is my first "cancer book" so I cannot compare it to others but it absolutely blew me away.

The characters are extremely relatable, realistic, and well-developed. They seem so real that I could easy run into Hazel Lancaster or Augustus Waters on the street. The plot is very diverse and realistic yet keeps you on your feet. I found myself laughing at Green's sarcastic dialogue yet crying over the realism. I definitely recommend this book to young adults but make sure you have a box of tissues handy.

The movie is coming out this summer 2014 and the previews seem promising. I will see the movie because I can't refuse the film adaptation of a book I have read but nothing will ever compare to the book. Especially this book!

Check out a copy for yourself!

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But I'll Be Back Again

But I'll Be Back Again by Cynthia Rylant was published in 1993 by Beech Tree Books. Her storytelling is as lively, engaging, and beautiful, as one would imagine Rylant's autobiography to be. Usually I am not a fan of listening to people talk about themselves but her story is compelling! Rylant's story explains her childhood in a small West Virginian town including, but not limited to, stories about her alcoholic father, absent mother, experiences with boys, the Beatles, and her son. Every section of the book is met with a quote from a Beatles song  that describes that section, which I found very poetic. 

Rylant's ability to connect with her inner child and past experiences in her childhood is truly remarkable. It is obvious this is why she is such a wonderfully acclaimed children's book author. She is able to recount her experiences from her inner child's perspective that so many of us have experienced before. "I got my first kiss when I was eleven years old, and for the next several years I did so much kissing that I barely had time to take a breath. I loved to kiss, and still do, and apart from going out for ice cream, there are few things as easy and enjoyable. My first kiss occurred at a party during a game of Spin the Bottle," (47). It is reassuring to relate our childhoods to such a famous and talented author. We must be doing something right!

All people, especially women, can relate to Rylant's hilarious and awkward adolescent experiences with her body and the opposite sex. I found myself laughing out loud when Rylant explained her struggles with her first bra. "I hated bras. I'd been an ace volleyball player until I started wearing bras. I could never keep the strap up; sometimes I couldn't even keep a bra in the right place. I'd serve a volleyball and either the strap would be hanging over my elbow or the bra would be up around my neck," (33). Rylant's consistent honesty draws readers in and makes them relate to her experiences very well. 

I feel a very strong connection to Rylant due to our similar childhood experiences and artistic outlets. This book was very personal to me. My parents divorced when I was five because my mother is an alcoholic so I very much sympathized with Rylant's childhood explanations and feelings. For example, when she said, 

"I think I believed that if I were really really good then I would make them happy and they wouldn't fight. Children always think they can make their parents happy, so they try a hundred different ways to please them, but nothing works. The parents still yell at each other and they still yell at their children, and all the goodness in the world, or in one little child, will not help that. No one ever told me when I was little that my parents' battles were not my fault. I am certain I must have felt they were, and I believe I grew up with this big feeling inside that said, 'Whenever anyone who is with you is unhappy, it is you fault.' I didn't know, growing up, that I didn't have to make people happy," (16).

I couldn't have explained this better myself for that was exactly my thoughts growing up and the reason I am how I am today. Who knew that an autobiography of an award-winning children's book author could make you cry and come to terms with your childhood traumas and influences? Additionally, it brought me to tears to read Rylant's explanation of her feelings when her mother abandoned her because that was how I felt as a child, also. After my parents' divorce, my mother left and I was raised by my father:

"My mother wrote to me regularly (putting a stick of chewing gum inside every letter), and a few times a year she was able to come and see me. But it was not enough for a little girl. I believe that deep down I felt I just had not been good enough to make her want to stay. For a child there is never a good reason for a mother to leave. My mother's few trips each year to see me, instead of making things better, only made things worse. It would be wonderful having her back with me again, and I would have so much to tell her and so many things to show her. Then suddenly it would be time for her to go, and I could hardly bear it," (17). 

I think I have a stronger connection to Cynthia Rylant than most people because of our childhoods. Her ability to put pain and childhood memories into words has really moved me. This autobiography has instantly touched my heart and young adults will definitely relate to her life as they live through these similar experiences. For adults, it will make them recall their childhood experiences, both positive and negative, and give them the strength to grow and move on from them. Our childhoods do not make us all that we are, but they definitely have played a monumental role. 

Check out a copy for yourself!

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Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

"The problem with my life is that it was someone else's idea."

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz was published in 2012 by Simon & Schuster. It has already won many awards and I can definitely understand why. This is the story of two, Mexican fifteen year old boys on the journey of self-discovery.

Aristotle or "Ari" is always angry and has virtually no real friends. His brother is in prison and his father is a Vietnam veteran. He is very close with his mom. One day Ari meets another fifteen year old named Dante at the pool, who offers to teach him to swim. He is attractive, an only child, and an artist. Ari and Dante develop a beautiful friendship full of laughter, fun, and feelings. Dante is sure of himself from the beginning and seems to fit in everywhere he goes. One particular day, Dante is in the middle of the road trying to save a dying bird when a car comes zooming by. Ari pushes Dante out of the way and gets very seriously injured himself. He couldn't understand why he shoved Dante out of the way and why he felt so upset about it. The story develops as Dante ans his family move away to Chicago for his father's business and they have to communicate through letters. They both try to experiment with girls, alcohol, and smoking. Dante admits to Ari that he would rather be kissing boys and Ari is adamant about kissing girls only; though the reader can sense he may not know himself fully yet. After a year, Dante and his family move back to Texas and the boys pick up their friendship where it began. Dante is seriously injured in a fight with some boys who spot him kissing another boy in an alley and Ari goes on a massive revenge streak. In the end, the boys drive out to their favorite star-gazing spot in Ari's truck and discover the real secret to their universe.

It is imperative to realize that "the secrets of the universe" are different for everyone. There is no singular "secret." The secrets of the universe are whatever makes you, you.The painful part of being a teenager is that one doesn't know themselves yet and so that leads them down the path of self-discovery. Dante knew he was gay and so did his parents but Ari had not realized that he was also gay until the very end of the book. The themes of this book are strong and being true to yourself is the main message.

"As Dante was watching me search the sky through the lens of a telescope he whispered, 'Someday, I'm going to discover the secrets of the universe.'

That made me smile. 'What are you going to do with all those secrets, Dante?'

'I'll know what to do with them,' he said. 'Maybe change the world.'

I believed him," (Saenz 42-43). 

This novel is so truthful and honest. Every young adult/teenager, no matter their sexual orientation, should read this book. It is empowering and everyone can relate to the struggles these two boys face. I also really enjoyed learning more about the Mexican culture through this book. The author, Benjamin Alire Saenz, is of Hispanic heritage and is gay himself. I enjoyed the book a million times more knowing it was authentic and from a cultural insider. It was very realistic! While reading other reviews on his text, I stumbled across one from a gay Mexican man who praised this book for relating to his culture and experiences he went through as a struggling boy. That really warmed my heart to read! I highly recommend this book to young adult readers!

Check out a copy for yourself!

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Missing May

Missing May by Cynthia Rylant was published in 1992 by Orchard Books. It is the story of a young, 12 year old girl named Summer who is still grieving the death of her Aunt May, alongside her Uncle Ob. Summer had gone to live with May and Ob in West Virginia when she was six years old after her own parents died. All three of them were happy and finally a family for a few years before Aunt May passed away.

"We wanted a family so bad, all of us. And we just grabbed onto each another and made us one. Simple as that," (Rylant 87). 

We only get to know May through the flashbacks and memories of Summer and Uncle Ob. They are struggling immensely to get their lives back together, though it seems impossible. On top of it all, Summer is so worried about her Uncle Ob that she cannot fully grieve herself. Just when all hope seems lost, their young friend named Cletus comes up with a plan for a special trip that may just heal them all. Or, at least begin the healing process in a healthy way.

I am forever a fan of Rylant's eloquent way with words. Her descriptive language is as beautiful and relatable as ever. "The capital building sprawled gray concrete like a regal queen spreading out her petticoats, and its giant dome glittered pure gold in the morning sun. I felt in me an embarrassing sense of pride that she was ours," (70). Additionally, her ability to dig deep into your heart is unmatched. "I had no reason to fear bats, and as I grew and discovered how people are deathly afraid of them, it made me wonder about fear. Whether it all just starts with the people who raise us," (57-58).  Was Summer really talking about the fear of bats here or rather the fear of death? Did May and Ob fear death and therefore Summer has been affected? Why does Summer feel so much fear for what will happen to Ob? The book leads to many deep conversations that can be experienced by upper elementary students and young adults. 

Missing May would be an excellent uplifting choice for any upper elementary and beyond child. Rylant's ability to console a reader through the tough topic of death is calming.The book's theme is sad and about death but the underlying message is one of hope and positivity. Rylant effectively teaches the lesson that it is good to grieve, it is normal, and it will hurt. 

Check out a copy from your local library!

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The Watson's Go to Birmingham - 1963

The Watson’s Go to Birmingham – 1963 by Christopher Paul Curtis was published in 1995 by Delacorte Press. It has won many awards including the Coretta Scott King award, the Newberry Honor, and the Golden Kite Award. I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by this novel because I am not normally a historical fiction fan. This story follows the Watson family through their daily life in Flint, Michigan. I really grew to love this family and I believe that was what Curtis intended. I was surprised how far into the book I was before any segregation/racial inequality themes were brought up. But Curtis wanted to ensure that we fell in love with the family first. 

Ten year old Kenneth or “Kenny” Watson is our narrator. He is very smart and has a lazy eye which makes him the target of much bullying at school. We are introduced to his family as they are shivering at home trying to stay warm by huddling together one cold, Michigan winter. They live in Flint, Michigan, although Momma is from warm Alabama. Sweet, younger sister Joetta or “Joey” is in Kindergarten and very impressionable while older brother Byron or “By” is the tough guy of the school and family. Momma and Daddy seem to still be very much in love and act as normally as any married couple I know today.

We watch as Kenny encounters school bullies, classes, new country friends, and old toy-stealing friends. Byron is the family rebel and is constantly getting in trouble and pushing his parent’s buttons. From skipping school to lighting fires to starting fights, Byron seems to do the opposite of everything he is supposed to do. He is a complicated young man going through a lot of changes. He is emotional and conflicted yet always watches out for his younger siblings. But one day Byron upsets his parents for the last time by getting a “conk” hair cut which apparently was the popular style in the 1960’s. I’m not ashamed to admit I had to Google search what a “conk” looked like. Anyway, his parents decide it’s time for Byron to go live with their Grandma Sands in Birmingham, AL for the summer of ’63. Mr. Watson suits up the “Brown Bomber” car and the family endures a three day road trip to Alabama to drop of Byron. When they arrive, it seems that Byron is actually happier being in Birmingham while Kenny and Joey are absolutely miserable with the never-ending heat.  Kenny is actually the first one to disobey parental orders this time by going swimming in the whirlpool (or Wool Pooh as they called it) at Collier’s Landing. The three children had been warned not to and Byron and Joey listened but Kenny did not. He almost drowned in that whirl pool but thankfully his siblings got him out. Poor, Kenny, The one time he doesn't obey the rules he almost gets killed for it!

Then one Sunday morning, the neighbors and Joetta went to church. Not too long afterward they all heard a giant boom sound. It turned out that it was the 16^th Avenue Baptist Church bombing that we all know too well. When the family ran to see if Joetta was hurt, Kenny followed, and actually went inside the church. It was there that he was traumatized by seeing three dead little girls and he assumed one of them was Joey. He ran home traumatized and upset. Thankfully, Joey was not hurt, but many other people were. She had actually left the church early because she was too hot and thought she saw Kenny waving to her across the street. The rest of the book explains how traumatized Kenny was by seeing those deceased girls and thinking one of them was his sister. In the end, Byron ends up pulling Kenny out of his depression and showing him that he saved Joey. I really enjoyed how the book wrapped up all strings for the Watson family. But I can’t help but feel sadness for the lives lost in the 16^th Avenue Baptist Church bombing in Birmingham, Alabama as well as all other people affected by racial prejudice.

On a more positive note, I laughed a lot while reading this book! The interactions within the family were hilarious. Byron and Kenny reminded me so much of my brother and I except reversed. I am older but a rule follower like Kenny and my younger brother is the Byron of the family. All of their antics together including the arguments, name calling, and even sticking up for each other, made me laugh out loud and reminisce of my childhood in Illinois. I couldn't help but feel a connection to these characters that I didn't expect to feel. My father is from St. Louis but moved to Birmingham, Michigan in the mid-1960's which is about 50 miles south of Flint. 

          Two scenes had a particularly strong effect on me. The first was when the neighbor Mrs. Davidson gave Joey an angel that was white with blue eyes, dimples, and rosy pink cheeks. Joey hid the angel in her sock drawer because she didn’t think the angel looked like her. Her mother came upstairs and the exchange went like this:

Momma: “Sweetheart, I can see how it reminds her of you. Look at that dimple.”

Joey: “But Mommy, it’s white.”

Momma: “Well, honey, I can’t say it isn’t, but an angel’s an angel, what do you think?”

Joey: “Maybe, but I know that angel’s name isn’t Joetta Watson,” (Curtis 128-129).

I was conflicted with this scene in the story because I couldn’t decide how I should feel. Should I feel sadness that Joey already is well aware of her race or should I be happy that she is and wants to stay true to her identity? I did enjoy Momma’s attempt at making Joey appreciate the angel and indirect notion that people are people no matter the color. But I do wish Curtis took this scene a bit deeper and led Momma and Joey into a conversation about race and equality. Yes, Joey is only a Kindergartener, but clearly she is well aware of race and could handle said conversation. 

The second scene that really got to me was the church bombing, respectively. I actually had to reread this section a few times to fully comprehend the events that transpired. I was shocked to come to terms with these events in the story let alone realizing they were REAL. Although racism is still alive in the world it has definitely toned down since the 1960’s. I have never lived in a world of segregated bathrooms, schools, and drinking fountains and it always seemed like the civil rights movement happened so long ago. But in reality, it really wasn’t very long ago, was it? 

Interestingly enough, in the "About the Author" section at the back of the book we learn that Curtis was born and raised in Flint, Michigan. This gave the book a whole new level of validity that I did not have before. He does mention in the Epilogue that the characters and events in the story are fictional. After some research on Curtis I learned that he was born in 1953 which would have made him ten years old when the story took place; the same age as Kenny and in the same town. Interesting. 

The Watson’s Go to Birmingham perfectly illustrates life in the 1960’s for an African-American family and it is sure to leave a mark in children’s hearts forever. The Epilogue does a fantastic job giving factual information on the civil rights movement and inspiration for the book. I definitely recommend it as a young adult novel for studying historical fiction, the civil rights movement, and equality. 

Check out a copy from your local library!

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The Giver

The Giver by Lois Lowry was published in 1993 by Houghton Mifflin Company. It was the winner of the 1994 Newberry Medal as well as many other awards. The story takes place in a high fantasy world where there are no memories, no pain, and no color. We first meet the main character Jonas who is an 11 year old boy and anxiously awaiting his Ceremony of the Twelve. At this ceremony he would learn what his life assignment would be for the rest of his life as selected by the Elders. Jonas lives with his father who is a nurturer, mother who works in the Department of Juice, and seven year old sister, Lily. There are many rules in this world. Each “family unit” is allowed one son and one daughter. There is no poverty, crime, inequality, or pain. No one keeps track of their age after 12. Children are assigned to families, not born. Everyone is extremely polite, mannerly, and conservative. Sounds like a dream, right?

                Anyway, we are introduced to Jonas’s best friend Asher who is lively and a bit goofy as well as Jonas’s crush, Fiona. Although Jonas doesn’t actually understand that he has a crush on her since all “stirrings” are subdued by taking pills. Jonas enjoys playing with his friends, following the rules of his community, and spending time with his family. We learn that Jonas’s father is a nurturer who takes care of the newborns and also releases (kills) them if necessary. However his father has brought home a baby named Gabriel that is struggling and he hopes to make him stronger so he doesn’t need to be released before the Naming Ceremony. The family begins to feel a bond with Gabriel but more so Jonas than anyone else.

                Finally, Ceremony Day arrives and Jonas watches the children go through their ceremonies. When the Ceremony of the Twelve arrives, Fiona gets the Caretaker of the Old job and his best friend Asher gets Assistant Director of Recreation. But when it was supposed to be Jonas’s turn to be called, they skipped him! Everyone was shocked and terrified… why was he skipped? Finally at the end of the ceremony it is noted that Jonas was skipped because his job is that important. He is named “The Receiver of Memory.” He is not entirely sure what this job entails except that it is the most important job of all and that he must go with the elderly man called “The Receiver” We come to find out that The Receiver is now "The Giver" to Jonas. The Giver is the man who stores all memories inside him so that the people of the community do not need to remember. Every day during his training, Jonas would receive memories from The Giver by having The Giver touch his back and transport them into his mind. Some of the memories were incredible ones like sledding down a hill, Christmas, seeing colors, and love. But most were bad including sunburn, pain, and war. Basically any  memory that would elicit feelings from the past. It was then that Jonas completely started to change. “Although he had through the memories learned about the pain of loss and loneliness, now he gained, too, an understanding of solitude and its joy,” (Lowry 122). He couldn’t believe how much the people didn’t know and couldn’t comprehend how much pain The Giver had to hold on to through these memories.

                Months passed as Jonas accepted more and more memories from The Giver so that he could soon take over his job as The Giver wanted to be released. The job before Jonas arrived belonged to a woman named Rosemary, who couldn’t handle the memories. Instead, she committed suicide by asking to be released. Jonas is hopeful that he will be a stronger Receiver than she was. We find out later that Rosemary was actually The Giver’s daughter. Receivers of Memory had special privileges that other members of the community did not. One of those privileges was that they could watch releasing videos if they wished. Jonas’s father had told him that he needed to release a twin one morning and Jonas wished to watch the video since he did not fully understand what release meant. After watching his father inject a liquid into the baby’s head and seeing it die; Jonas remembered a memory of death and panicked. This was a turning point for Jonas. He felt lied to and betrayed! Jonas didn’t want to hold on to all of these memories anymore and felt that the people should feel them. This gave The Giver the idea of letting the people feel their own feelings. He said, “If you get away, if you get beyond, if you get to Elsewhere, it will mean that the community has to bear the burden themselves, of the memories you had been holding for them,” (Lowry 156). He went on to say, “And having you here with me over the past year has made me realize that things must change. For years I’ve felt that they should, but it seemed so hopeless. Now for the first time I think there might be a way,” (Lowry 155). So, that was their plan. Jonas was to leave in the middle of the night with all the memories that The Giver had given him so that the community could change and people could feel again. He decided that people needed to feel and needed memories for they were better than having none at all. “His thoughts continued. If he had stayed, he would have starved in other ways. He would have lived a life hungry for feelings, for color, for love,” (Lowry 174).

                The night that he was supposed to leave, Jonas’s father announced to the family that Gabe would be released in the morning which understandably greatly upset Jonas who was full of feelings and memories. After dinner, Jonas stole his father’s bike, took Gabe, and fled like the plan said. The two boys were on the run for many days through the snow and cold temperatures. They ran low on food and grew very tired. Jonas’s anxiety was through the roof as he imagined the people searching for him. Then finally in the last chapter, the boys reach the top of a hill that seems familiar. He remembers it from his sled memory and there is a sled on the top of the hill. The two boys ride down the hill on the sled and see a building with lights and they hear music. But the last sentence is very misleading by saying, “Behind him, across vast distances of space and time, from the place he had left, he thought he heard music too. But perhaps it was only an echo,” (Lowry 180).

                The themes and ideas in The Giver were absolutely fascinating to me. Entrusting one human in the entire community to ALL memories both good and bad? NO feelings at all? No colors? Government chooses everything for you? The people are more like robots than they are human beings. But isnt this the direction our world is going in?  It is scary to think about.  I understand why The Giver is controversial and one of the most highly censored books in education although I do not agree with it. Yes, there are some adult themes in this book but isn’t censorship what The Giver was all about anyway? Trying to “protect” people by censorship is the same as protecting people in the story from feelings. It is better to let people feel emotions sort through it themselves than to make those decisions for them. I keep going back to one particular line in the story:

‘Or what if,’ he went on, almost laughing at the absurdity, ‘they chose their own jobs?’

‘Frightening, isn’t it?’ The Giver said.

Jonas chuckled. ‘Very frightening. I can’t even imagine it. We really have to protect people from wrong choices.’

 

‘It’s safer.’

 

‘Yes,’ Jonas agreed. ‘Much safer.’” (Lowry 99)

Does safer mean better? Or does safer just mean we are shielding people from the realities of the world? I personally believe that books should not be censored. Of course, parents reserve the right to decide what their child reads and does not read. However, shouldn’t students be given the fair chance to create their own meaning from the story? Maybe I have difficulty with censorship because I am not yet a parent but, what are parents so afraid of? That their children will disobey their parenting skills and values and suddenly jump on board with the themes in the latest book they’re reading? We need to have more faith in children. Authors write stories for readers and they expect readers to bring their own memories and feelings to the book. If we censor the books that people are able to read then all we are doing is creating the same robot/emotionless people that are in The Giver.  Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed The Giver and recommend it to everyone and anyone, as long as it is developmentally appropriate. It was an eye opening book and more people today need to read it!

Check out a copy at your local library!

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Looking for Alaska

**WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD**

No one prepared me for Looking for Alaska by John Green. This is the type of book that changes you. I can't pinpoint exactly how I feel about it because my feelings are so conflicting. I loved it and hated it all at the same time. But isn't that makes good literature? That which makes the reader feel and over-analyze? I seriously cannot wait to explore and dissect this text in class. My book is full of sticky notes.

Looking for Alaska was published in 2005 by Speak. Let's start with a synopsis although mine will not do the book justice. You just have to read it! The book is split into two parts: one entitled "Before" and the other, "After." Each chapter is a countdown to something, beginning with "One hundred thirty six days before." 16 year-old Miles "Pudge" Halter gets sent to Culver Creek Prep School in Alabama by his parents. He is happy to leave his Florida life behind and is in search of the "Great Perhaps." He is intelligent and a bit quirky being that he is obsessed with the famous last words of people before they die. Morbid, right? Anyway, Miles meets his roommate, Chip "Colonel" Martin who quickly introduces him to his small circle of friends including the gorgeous, Alaska Young. Pudge is immediately infatuated with the beautiful, self-destructive, intelligent, and sassy Alaska but she has a boyfriend named Jake that she is utterly in "love" with. The small group consists mostly of Colonel, Pudge, Alaska, Takumi, and Lara. They would smoke excessively, engage in pranks on campus, and drink heavily together. Pudge is in a religion class that he is particularly fond of. It focuses on three major religions and the afterlife associated. The theme for his class mirrors his life and he doesn't even realize it at first. The major question for this class for the semester was: "What are the rules of this game, and how might we best play it?" (Green 32). It ties in perfectly with his future relationship with Alaska. The antics and relationships within the group of friends are very entertaining but none so much as Alaska and Pudge's. You will watch as Pudge quickly falls in love with her while at the same time knowing she is self absorbed, destructive, and depressed. Pudge longs to be with Alaska but she always plays the, "I have a boyfriend" card, although she clearly likes Pudge also. The night of the group's first huge prank together (that Pudge describes as the best day of his life), Alaska talks about her mother. She explains that on January 9, 1997 her mother took her to the zoo and it was the best day of her life. But the worst day of her life was the next day, when her mother fell to the floor with a brain aneurysm and Alaska failed to call 911. The group sat, silent and shocked, as none of them had ever known this fact about Alaska.

**SERIOUSLY, MAJOR SPOILER ALERT**

The first half "Before" ends with Pudge and Alaska finally making out one night during a game of "Truth or Dare," to which Alaska abruptly ends with a, "To be continued." Alaska, Pudge, and Colonel fall asleep heavily intoxicated and Alaska receives a phone call. She leaves the room and returns frenzy, hysterical, and clearly upset. She is continually apologizing and yelling that she needs to leave. The boys distract the Eagle so that she can make a get away in her car but remember, she has been drinking. The next half begins with the page entitled "After." After what you may ask? Well, the following morning Pudge and Colonel wake up with Alaska nowhere to be found. When the Eagle calls everyone into the gym and announces that Alaska Young has been in a terrible car accident and has died. Everyone is shocked. Pudge throws up. Colonel starts yelling. One can only imagine the pain that they are feeling and especially Pudge. Now he is left with so many questions: What could we have been? Did she love me? Was it really an accident? Did she commit suicide? The boys, with the help of Takumi, try to solve the mystery of Alaska's death. They mostly hit dead ends and decide to celebrate Alaska's life and legacy with a huge prank. They hire a male stripper to pretend to be a professor for Speaker Day and once he has stripped off his clothes he yells, "This one's for Alaska Young." Bravo!

After many phone calls, trips to the police station, cigarettes, booze, and the help of Takumi, they come to the conclusion that Alaska realized it was the anniversary of her mother's death and she missed it. So, while on the phone with her boyfriend and drawing her favorite flower doodle, she jumped up and grabbed the flowers he gave her to put at her mother's grave site. She needed Pudge and Colonel to distract the Eagle so she could get away in her car. She drove, with a .24 BAC onto the freeway to get to her mother's grave with flowers. But there was a truck in the middle of the freeway and a police car was there. The police car turned on the lights but Alaska's car didn't slow down or brake, and she went straight into the police car. The impact killed her instantly. 

Once Pudge found out the story behind Alaska's death and that he and Pudge had not actually been the last ones to let her go, Takumi was, he felt closure. He was able to say his peace and accept that he would always love Alaska. He could finally move on. "So I know she forgives me, just as I forgive her. Thomas Edison's last words were: 'It's very beautiful over there.' I don't know where there is, but I believe it's somewhere, and I hope it's beautiful," (Green 221).

I screamed when I read that Alaska died and then consequently threw my book across the room. REALLY JOHN GREEN, REALLY?! I was completely and utterly taken off guard. Not many authors are brave enough to kill off a main character mid-story. Why did Alaska have to die? Why couldn't the story have played out and Pudge and Alaska could ride off happily ever after into the sunset? Ok, I get it. Alaska needed to succumb to her self-destructive life style and Pudge needed her to die in order to find his "Great Perhaps." But I'm not happy about it. I wish she had lived...

However, I do enjoy John Green's beautiful writing and how poetic Pudge himself was. The ending of the book when Pudge finally comes to peace with Alaska's death is beautifully written. Ok, the whole book is beautifully written. Here are my favorites lines from the book that do not have curse words in them:

"She had the kind of eyes that predisposed you to supporting her every endeavor," (Green 19).

"So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane," (Green 88).

"People, I thought, wanted security. They couldn't bear the idea of death being a big black nothing, couldn't bear the thought of their loved ones not existing, and couldn't even imagine themselves not existing. I finally decided that people believed in an afterlife because they couldn't bear not to," (Green 100).

"After all this time, it still seems to me like straight and fast is the only way out-- but I choose the labyrinth. The labyrinth blows, but I choose it," (Green 217).

Looking for Alaska is a controversial realistic fiction novel and I can understand why. There is strong language, sex, drugs, religion, and rebellion of all sorts. It is definitely a contemporary story and relatable for many high school students and adults alike. There is something about this book that makes me absolutely love it, and completely despise it, all at the same time. Is it because Alaska Young reminds me of myself? Is it because I'm so infuriated with John Green's killing her off? Is it because I'm a "happy ever after" type of person and cannot handle reality? I'm not sure I'll ever know the reason. Despite my personal conflicts with the text, Looking for Alaska is a quick and enticing read. At the end of the day, I absolutely loved it.

"...and I would always love Alaska Young, my crooked neighbor, with all my crooked heart,"

(Green 218).

Check out a copy from your local library!!!

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